HELLO, SUMMER

Friday, March 14, 2008

10:22 PM

i havn't blogged all week.
nothing exciting happened over the week, so i don't really have much to blog about. besides the fact that today was delayed start plus early release plus viking connections, so we had 18-minute classes, and viking connections for 90 minutes, and then we were out at 1.36 - which was superly awesome.

i saw horton hears a who today!
the new dr. suess movie?
it was awesomeeeeeee. i freaking love dr suess. the other dr suess movie that i absolutely LOVE is the lorax. its really good, you seriously have to watch it - afterall, it is dr. suess month.

i used to watch it alll the time when i was little. i can still remember the lines to some parts of the movie.

anyways, i drove again this week.
only that this time, i made a little tiny mistake.
we were driving out of my school parking lot, and it slopes downward. so after i backed out of the lot, i forgot to put the car into drive, and i stepped on the gas when it was still in reverse.

ohmygosh. we went downhill sooo fast, i panicked and screamed my head off.
my mom had to reach over and steer for me and pull the handbreaks.

after that episode, i got all jittery and i couldnt park the car straight, so i had to keep backing out and trying to straighten the car over and over again until i got it right.

but other than that, i think im a pretty good driver (:

i've been seeing that kid that i hooked up with on twirp night alot around school lately.

its kinda awkward. we just pretend that we don't see each other.
i've been trying to avoid him, but we always meet cause he walks by my locker everyday,
so whenever he walks by, i just stare into my mirror, pretending im fixing my hair. &
we're in the same lunch, and his class is like 3 rooms down the hallway from my class, so we walk the same way everyday.

i don't know if i should continue talking or texting him ..
its not kinda awkward. its really awkward actually.

i vow never to have a random hookup with anyone that goes to my school.

more importantly, i'll check what grade hes in and if he has any sisters my age, let alone in my english class. that just ruins the whole thing. i wish his sister would die. not die, but hmm. maybe be like a year younger than me or something?

no, that would still make it awkward.
i wish she were like 8 or 5.

anyways, im just rambling, and you guys have absolutely no idea what im talking about.
but jasmine knows (:

i'll tell you guys the story if you wanna know.
if not, i won't bore you guys. actually, its not that boring. haha.

moving on -

bryan's blog just devastates my little heart.
hes always hung up over some girl.
its kinda cute actually, to know that a guy could display such an immense amount of feelings for a girl, getting all sulky and swooning over her.

its usually the other way around.

i can't remember the last time i was totally head over heels, that i wrote sweet poems on my blog or actually thought about a guy all day.
i just don't get attached really easy.

sometimes i wish i could just channel all my feelings to a specific guy, but then when i have a boyfriend,i don't exactly want him. or rather, i just don't exactly want to be around him, or to have him with me all the time.

you know what i mean?

its the theory of 'wanting what you can't get',
and the theory of 'not knowing what you have until you lose it' all tied in together.

me and jake for example -
i dated him for 9 months, and i thought it was love.
but after we broke up, i wasn't really affected by it.
so that 9 months feels like a complete waste of time.

i can't see myself really hung up over a guy.
maybe in the future .. but right now, i just see it as a little teenage fling, and i can always get a new boyfriend. its not like we're gonna get married anyways.

but i don't know.
sometimes i kinda wish that i had someone to worry,
and to go out of their way to care for me -

make sure i don't ride in certain people's cars cause they're bad drivers.
watch me at parties to make sure i don't drink too much.
call to check in on me and find out what im doing.
or to yell at me when i don't do the most mature of things.

but then again, it was kind of annoying when jake actually did all those things.
i thought he was mom-ish.

i don't know. maybe i just have a screwed up heart to not be able to stay devoted to that one guy. or i just get too bored too easily.

i don't know how long relationships work though.
they don't make sense to me. i would rather have fun and be able to flirt with guys whenever i want to.

maybe what i need is a boyfriend thats really lax and lets me flirt with whoever i want.
then i'll get the best of both worlds (:

but i guess being with someone is like cutting your heart open and displaying it in a glass case for the world to see.

it can get infected that much easier.

& in order to not get your heart broken by someone else, you've just gotta be a little selfish sometimes, and fend for yourself instead of the other person.

because if you give entirely, you lose that special someone along with everything you had.
and that makes it that much harder.

i guess im selfish, and i fend too much for myself.
thats why i suck at relationships.

xoxo,
Rach

SUMMER SUNSHINE?

RACHAEL - dont forget that name, its gonna be famous someday.
its the perfection that i envy,
& the image that im chasing,
thats holding me back.

what if everything i told you were all lies?

basically, im anything but ordinary.

i would totally marry any guy with a rose tattoo.
random, but true

because -

retail therapy, TLC,
people watching
fruit spritzers, glossy magazines,
icecream, white chocolate, movies,
Sweden!
boys, soccer, cars,
mighty 6!
coffee, running, SUMMER!
chai lattes, smores, singapore!

?! TALK

cbox

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REGINA
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WANXIAN

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MSN: xi4ofairy@hotmail.com
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